Some days I find easier to put my head through a wall, then think straight. I am pretty sure that this is the effects of have not staying single for an extended amount of time after my last couple of relationships. It has only been a month and a half, but sometimes feel like much longer than that. The whole struggle with finding everything in Christ is really a day to day thing. I miss things about being in relationships, but I know for now, that I need to be single. I need get right with God, and not want to put my head through a wall every second day. This gets hard, when habits of knowing that someone is always there kick in, but when that person is not there. Have I been hiding in relationships from who I really am. Am I still dealing with needing to feel loved? Some days it feels like it, others I know Jesus is with me. I know that my family loves me, I know there is love all around. Why do I feel like I need a girlfriend to feel loved? Well the train keeps moving, and lets see whats around the next bend.